Coffee and Talk

I want to bring up something that I believe many of us, especially women, struggle with: being kind to ourselves. I am guilty of this too. I constantly push myself, cramming my schedule with endless tasks—sleeping eight hours, working all day, hitting the gym, doing yoga, taking care of my kids, cooking, driving them to school, walking the dog twice a day, taking care of my cat, spending family time, and finding moments to have fun with friends. It is exhausting, and this routine quickly becomes overwhelming.

I’ve realized that I overload myself to prove (to myself) that I can handle everything without help. On days when I didn’t meet my own expectations, I felt upset and viewed myself as failing. Ironically, I often would tell others that it’s okay to ask for help, or that it’s fine if they couldn’t do everything they planned, yet I found myself stuck in a cycle of self-imposed pressure.

A few months back, I caught a terrible cold — it hit me harder than usual. I was in bed for three days, unable to go to the gym, work, or cook a single meal. My mom had to take my kids to school and guess what? We all survived. Everyone chipped in, and we made it through. Since then, I’ve decided to STOP putting so much pressure on myself and to focus more on self-kindness. I deserve this!

This past week, I couldn’t make it to the gym every day because of family commitments after work. I was so happy with myself because, instead of beating myself up for not sticking to my workout schedule, I chose self-kindness. I had let go of the guilt and was focused on being fully present with my family, which is just as important. I just knew that my progress in the gym wasn’t going anywhere just because I missed a few days.

I used to compare my life with others’, feeling that I should be doing the same things or as much as they were doing. But the truth is, everyone’s life, routine, and family dynamics are different. What works for someone else might not fit into my life, and that is okay!

I appreciate that it’s fine not to complete every item on my to-do list. Showing up for myself also means being kind and feeling grateful for the choices I make. I realize now how much progress and growth come from simply changing my self-talk.

I’m sharing this because maybe you are also very hard on yourself, always feeling that you aren’t doing enough. Remember, the world won’t end if everything on the to-do list doesn’t get done or if things aren’t perfect. There is grace in imperfections. Being kind to yourself today is the first step on a long journey that we get to be part of every day when we wake up.